MJ: the good news thread

So what do you give to someone who already has everything? What do you buy for a guy who is worth on estimated $450 millions? What kind of thing do you purchase for the oldest "boy" in the world? What sort of present do you give to the first solo artist to generate four Top-Ten hits on the Billboard charts, seven top hits on another album and five number one hits yet on another album? What do you give to a man who doesn't really want anything, except to be accepted? What do you give to Michael Jackson? It took me days to figure out.


Flashback to earlier this week. Yeardley and I were meeting with producer John Boylan at Lion's Share to find out what key we sang in. He also played some cute sample from our new CD, 'Simpsons Sing The Blues,' that had been recorded by some studio singer. Good singers. It was the first time I got to hear Yeardley's voice, wow, so sweet and pure... just perfect for "God Bless the Child." Me? I'm okay, but Bart rocks!


We were jammin' to the sample of "Do The Bartman when John leans over and says, "I won't be directing you on this one." "Oh, bummer!" I replied. "Yeah," he went on. "some guy named Michael's gonna lead you." It tooks me a few seconds for the penny to drop and jaw quickly followed.


Michael!? I raced to the nearest mall. A set of sun glasses? A t-shirt? A nice tie? Jesus, something more personal!. I raced andand rummaged ever closet. My trumpet? Never! That Negligée? A family photo? I had to think of something, I don't know why I just had to. Then, as I dug deeper into my collection I heard the strangest thing. Little Lucy, all of nine months, got her finger in the string of a Bart talking doll and I heard my own altered voice say, "eat my shorts." Problem solved, I have about 10 of these dolls and besides the "shorts" line it voices about five other expressions that had been incorporated into our American vernacular. Pretty sad, the vernacular, not the doll. The doll is actually kind of cute. His proportions are very real and the hard plastic head is big and yellow and his eyes bug out, very Bart. I figured this might be just the perfect gift for the guy who has everything.


Standing in the lobby, the front door opens and he walks. He on his sunglasses and was a little taller than I had imagined. Jim was right there and shook his hand and said a few things, welcoming him and all. Then, Michael turned to me, I had the doll behind my back because I wanted to surprise him. I had signed the doll's belly and written "Bart loves Michael" on the front of his t-shirt. Just as we finished our greetings, I pulled the doll out from behind and handed it out to him saying, "this is from me to you." He was about to have a heart attack! Hls eyes lit up like a six-year-old and he took it and hugged it. Oh my god, he really is a kid!


He thanked me profusely and, from that moment on, I knew we were going to have a great time. We went into the studio and began the rehearsal for "Do The Bartman." Michael was absolutely incredible, we had so much fun. It didn't take us very long at all because he knew what he was doing. We started it from the top and just ran to it a couple of times and he couldn't stop laughing. He absolutely loved Bart and when I spoke like him, Michael was delighted like a kid at Christmas. At one point in the song, there was plently of room for adlibbing, I went nuts, I added this one towards the end, "eat your heart out, Michael" and he loved that! I hope it stays.


We finished and he gave me a copy and I gave him a hug. And then, I went out to the very cozy living room and had a little lunch. Oh, and by the way, those dolls? I found them on sale at Toys R US for $10 a piece, they retailed at $30. I snatched them all, it was such a deal. Hey, you never know when you might run into Michael Jackson!