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Post by Russg on Oct 4, 2021 17:20:49 GMT
My partner and I have been together for over a year now and we are contemplating making our relationship an open one. I wondered if any of you guys had strong opinions on open relationships. Do you think they're a cop-out, doomed to failure? Do you think it is possible for an open relationship to work long-term?
So many people put so much pressure on their relationships how does a tryst be grounds for splitting? Cheating is more than likely a cry for help so to speak. You don't suddenly become blind just because you've entered into a relationship with somebody. Isn't it best to be honest with your partner about your desires?
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Post by MattyJam on Oct 4, 2021 17:31:37 GMT
Got your eyes on a bit of Asian rough Russ?
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Post by Russg on Oct 4, 2021 17:32:48 GMT
Got your eyes on a bit of Asian rough Russ? Was it that transparent?
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Post by MattyJam on Oct 4, 2021 17:36:22 GMT
Got your eyes on a bit of Asian rough Russ? Was it that transparent? Yes. Punish them for Pearl Harbor. Punish them.
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Post by pg13 on Oct 4, 2021 18:48:34 GMT
Avoid, Avoid, Avoid!
Trust me on that one. No amount of talking, thinking or researching beforehand prepares for the reality of it.
If anyone has a history of mental health issues minor or major, definitely Avoid like the plague! It affects mental health negatively sooner or later.
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Post by ghost on Oct 5, 2021 6:01:59 GMT
I've only known one couple who were in an open relationship. They were married for about 8yrs before it all unravelled and they are now divorced. I personally don't believe an open relationship works if you're invested in spending the rest of your lives together.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2021 13:52:47 GMT
I could never for the life of me see any positive outcome from being in an open relationship with someone that made me happy. I can only think of the amount of hassle it could bring into your lives, and life is hard enough as it is.
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TonyR
The Legend Continues
Posts: 8,413
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Post by TonyR on Oct 6, 2021 19:03:26 GMT
I could never for the life of me see any positive outcome from being in an open relationship with someone that made me happy. I can only think of the amount of hassle it could bring into your lives, and life is hard enough as it is. Now you tell me.
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Post by MattyJam on Oct 6, 2021 20:02:12 GMT
I could never for the life of me see any positive outcome from being in an open relationship with someone that made me happy. I can only think of the amount of hassle it could bring into your lives, and life is hard enough as it is. Yeah, I'm of the opinion that it can lead to nothing but trouble. But each to their own. I'm sure there are people who've made it work. I couldn't imagine it myself, but I guess it depends on what you're hoping to get out of a relationship. For me, the best thing about having a life partner is having that one person who you will know will put you first and always be there for you unconditionally. I don't know how I could ever feel secure in having those things knowing my partner was having it off with other people. You can say it's just sex all you like, but sex is an emotional connection every bit as much as it is a physical one.
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Post by pg13 on Oct 6, 2021 21:41:55 GMT
I could never for the life of me see any positive outcome from being in an open relationship with someone that made me happy. I can only think of the amount of hassle it could bring into your lives, and life is hard enough as it is. Yeah, I'm of the opinion that it can lead to nothing but trouble. But each to their own. I'm sure there are people who've made it work. I couldn't imagine it myself, but I guess it depends on what you're hoping to get out of a relationship. For me, the best thing about having a life partner is having that one person who you will know will put you first and always be there for you unconditionally. I don't know how I could ever feel secure in having those things knowing my partner was having it off with other people. You can say it's just sex all you like, but sex is an emotional connection every bit as much as it is a physical one. Most of the poly community are having multiple relationships at the same time as opposed to just shagging. They make a real distinction there. Which begs a question for Russ here: What do you personally mean by open relationship - sex or literal relationships? Either way, what I said before stands as it IS high risk. Well and truly burned a good while back although my marriage is still going somehow. But not without significant damage. Despite what the poly community say, that shit is dangerous....
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Post by electriceyes on Oct 8, 2021 7:11:04 GMT
I think it's okay if your not overly serious about eachother. I would do it if I was just having a bit of fun with someone and didn't see myself spending the rest of my life with them.
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Post by Russg on Oct 9, 2021 13:58:11 GMT
Yeah, I'm of the opinion that it can lead to nothing but trouble. But each to their own. I'm sure there are people who've made it work. I couldn't imagine it myself, but I guess it depends on what you're hoping to get out of a relationship. For me, the best thing about having a life partner is having that one person who you will know will put you first and always be there for you unconditionally. I don't know how I could ever feel secure in having those things knowing my partner was having it off with other people. You can say it's just sex all you like, but sex is an emotional connection every bit as much as it is a physical one. Which begs a question for Russ here: What do you personally mean by open relationship - sex or literal relationships? Just sex. Me and my partner have spoken at length about it and we keep blowing hot and cold on the idea. I can genuinely see it from both sides, the pros and cons. Life is not so simple or black and white. Would you like to eat meatloaf for dinner, every night for the rest of your life? Or would you rather have variety? Maybe chicken one night. Maybe even go crazy and have steak at a fine restaurant once in a while! Some people just need variety. But then another part of me wonders if open relationships is just a fancy term for the shame of sluthood.
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TonyR
The Legend Continues
Posts: 8,413
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Post by TonyR on Oct 9, 2021 15:25:05 GMT
Would you like to eat meatloaf for dinner, every night for the rest of your life? Or would you rather have variety? Maybe chicken one night. Maybe even go crazy and have steak at a fine restaurant once in a while! And sometimes you just fancy Asian.
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Post by Russg on Oct 9, 2021 15:57:51 GMT
Would you like to eat meatloaf for dinner, every night for the rest of your life? Or would you rather have variety? Maybe chicken one night. Maybe even go crazy and have steak at a fine restaurant once in a while! And sometimes you just fancy Asian. I do like a bit of spice. I wouldn't want it every night though. Many Vietnamese idioms reflect the sex-is-eating mapping: Ông ăn chả, bà ăn nem ("He eats meatballs, she eats springrolls") = Both husband and wife have secret lovers. Chán cơm thèm phở ("Tired of rice, craving noodle soup") = A man gets bored of his wife and find another girl. Ăn bánh trả tiền ("You eat snack, you pay money") = Having sex with prostitutes. (Long story short, bánh in here is snack) Ăn vụng không biết chùi mép ("Eating on the sly without cleaning your mouth") = Committing adultery but left trace
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2021 17:07:28 GMT
And sometimes you just fancy Asian. I do like a bit of spice. I wouldn't want it every night though. Many Vietnamese idioms reflect the sex-is-eating mapping: Ông ăn chả, bà ăn nem ("He eats meatballs, she eats springrolls") = Both husband and wife have secret lovers. Chán cơm thèm phở ("Tired of rice, craving noodle soup") = A man gets bored of his wife and find another girl. Ăn bánh trả tiền ("You eat snack, you pay money") = Having sex with prostitutes. (Long story short, bánh in here is snack) Ăn vụng không biết chùi mép ("Eating on the sly without cleaning your mouth") = Committing adultery but left trace Going out for a meal with one's significant other in Vietnam sounds like a minefield.
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