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Post by MattyJam on Feb 11, 2022 16:26:00 GMT
My wife once "finished off" one of our randy gerbils, when it wouldn't leave the other one alone. A proper sex pest she was (the gerbils that is, not my wife). Hang on, when you say finished off do you mean "satisfied" or "killed" it? She's not coming out of this looking good either way Haha... no, she didn't kill it. She let her hump her finger. It was a mercy hump! Poor Tilly had been chased around the cage for hours by Morgan, the serial gerbil rapist!
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Post by Liberian Girl on Feb 11, 2022 16:41:37 GMT
Hang on, when you say finished off do you mean "satisfied" or "killed" it? She's not coming out of this looking good either way Haha... no, she didn't kill it. She let her hump her finger. It was a mercy hump! Poor Tilly had been chased around the cage for hours by Morgan, the serial gerbil rapist! These allegations against me are totally false. I ask all of you to wait to hear the truth before you label me or condemn me. Donโt treat me like a criminal, beause I am innocent.
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TonyR
The Legend Continues
Posts: 8,413
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Post by TonyR on Feb 11, 2022 16:45:36 GMT
Although it's probably my favourite ever thread title, I wish you'd have plumped for 'Rowdy With A Chance of Meatballs.' Or 'The cur-Russ Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.'
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Post by Russg on Feb 11, 2022 17:00:31 GMT
Okay, I gotta admit, I made that up. Was funny though. ๐ If nothing else, at least we've learned not to leave our pets alone with Liberian Girl. ๐
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Post by Liberian Girl on Feb 11, 2022 17:04:41 GMT
Okay, I gotta admit, I made that up. Was funny though. ๐ If nothing else, at least we've learned not to leave our pets alone with Liberian Girl . ๐ Oh God I'm never gonna live this down, am I? Cheers Matty. I'm sure I'm not the only pet owner in history to have let their animal hump against them just to "get it out their system."
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Post by MattyJam on Feb 11, 2022 17:07:14 GMT
I'm sure I'm not the only pet owner in history to have let their animal hump against them just to "get it out their system." Of course you're not the only one to have done that. Just the only one not in prison.
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TonyR
The Legend Continues
Posts: 8,413
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Post by TonyR on Feb 11, 2022 17:10:08 GMT
Feel like listening to the Pet Shop Boys.
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Post by MattyJam on Feb 11, 2022 17:10:56 GMT
Feel like listening to the Pet Shop Boys. Whilst strangely aroused? God, this thread got weird fast.
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TonyR
The Legend Continues
Posts: 8,413
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Post by TonyR on Feb 11, 2022 17:13:15 GMT
Feel like listening to the Pet Shop Boys. Whilst strangely aroused? God, this thread got weird fast. I think it got weird from the moment the idea of it entered the dark recesses of Russ's mind.
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Post by MattyJam on Feb 11, 2022 17:15:33 GMT
Whilst strangely aroused? God, this thread got weird fast. I think it got weird from the moment the idea of it entered the dark recesses of Russ's mind. Well, at least no dogs were harmed in the making of this thread. Plus, a gerbil got off -so it's win-win for the animal kingdom!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2022 17:28:55 GMT
I learned more in this thread about posters in 12 hours than in all of the time this board has been open.
I am not a violent person.
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Post by MattyJam on Feb 11, 2022 17:33:20 GMT
I learned more in this thread about posters in 12 hours than in all of the time this board has been open. I am not a violent person. Think I'm gonna be in the doghouse when I get home, pardon the pun. I guess I could always try one of Russ's magic meatballs to help me sleep. ๐
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Post by butterflies2 on Feb 11, 2022 18:02:14 GMT
Omg you didnโt!
If it makes you feel better, I killed my grandmas fish when I was 4. When no one was looking, I put a meatball in the tank
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Post by NatureCriminal7896 on Feb 11, 2022 19:15:39 GMT
LOL! well glad to know it was a joke.
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Post by HIStoric on Feb 11, 2022 21:14:51 GMT
Just last week I was watching an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine was being kept awake by a yapping dog, so she employs Kramer and Newman to steal the dog and dump him many miles away. They succeed and she finds herself having the best night sleep in agesโฆ until it finds its way back home and returns carrying a bitten off scrap of Kramerโs shirt, enough for the police to take them all in for dognapping.
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