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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 15:18:59 GMT
The past few months I’ve not really been able to listen to or enjoy much if any music. At the same time there’s a lot going on in my life so maybe it’s just a case of having too much going on in my head. Anyone else have times where they’ve attempted to play a few songs and just feel a little empty? I've been there Aaron, I get it. Sometimes life is all-encompassing and it's just enough to make it through the day. The things that gave you wonderment and escapism in your youth sometimes lose their impact when life gets on top of you. Hopefully it will just be a temporary thing. I tend to find that there's two types of people in the world, those who "get" music and those who don't. I know almost everybody likes music in some form or other, but there's a big difference between the kind of people who just enjoy the odd song and people who live and breath music and can't live without it. I know you are from the latter category, otherwise why would be a long-time poster on a music discussion forum? But at the same time, it has to come from a genuine place. You're not a robot, expected to function on command. Don't beat yourself up about it or even question it. Ride out whatever it is you are going through in your life and let things happen organically. You can't fake these things. You know, I read this last night at work but didn’t have time to reply. This is pretty much it Fiona! Life just going a hundred miles an hour and completely all-encompassing. My mind not being able to turn off from everything. And our home has had so many issues that it’s just been one thing after another, but we’re getting there now. There is finally the vague sight of light at the end of the tunnel. There was also a staff member at work who was suicidal that’s finally come through his difficulties. It was a constant worry on my mind and I felt responsible if anything had happened as we have a duty of care to our staff aswell as our clients. I couldn’t even cry from exhaustion. You know when you’re that empty that there’s literally nothing left. Apart from my wonderful wife, music has always been my great stress reliever to balance my emotions and get me through things. Well, after reading all of the lovely replies on here, on the drive home last night I listened to a few songs -Who Is It was one of them- and I’m starting to feel good again and music seems to seeping back in to my soul and helping soundtrack my feelings. Drove home at 9pm when the sun was almost fully set and was that beautiful twilight between daylight and dark, a pinkish dark blue in the sky reflecting off a few low hanging clouds, and I had MJ playing. I never blast music. It’s got to be at the perfect level. Life felt good and all felt well with the world again.
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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 15:34:39 GMT
The past few months I’ve not really been able to listen to or enjoy much if any music. At the same time there’s a lot going on in my life so maybe it’s just a case of having too much going on in my head. Anyone else have times where they’ve attempted to play a few songs and just feel a little empty? This happened to me around February last year. I got rejected by a nursing school I applied for and things were generally not good for me. Couldn’t digest anything musical, but when I gave myself about a month to miss it, I was craving music again. I read your next post and you seem to be going through a hell of a lot but, you will survive and you’ll come out on top of it. I advise you to give yourself some time to miss music and hopefully,it’ll work for you like it did for me. I sincerely pray you get through all you’re going through. Sending out a major love. Thank you so much dirtyd. It’s so nice that you’ve joined on here and more importantly that you’ve thrown yourself into the conversation and taken part. I always feel a little gutted when people say some of us are a clique as really all one can do is just get stuck in and join the chat. I’m not saying you felt we were a clique by the way, just that it’s great you actually just got involved and got our -admittedly sometimes dry- sense of humour. Yes, I applied for 2 positions myself in the past few months with the NHS and didn’t get the gig, and would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit gutted. So I empathise with you there. Everything happens for a reason I guess and we’re destined for greater things pal. This is our planet!
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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 15:39:02 GMT
Thank you for this. The trauma of the death of someone you love can certainly have this effect. The human mind can be extremely complex. YES EVery one from the same eras as his were triggering me cause I was relating them back to his songs or thinking of him when hearing it. I was filled with love and it was bringing my whole inner being down. I couldn’t listen to mj for comfort and that hurt the most though I’m ok again I’ll never forget when MJ passed. It was a dagger through all our hearts. It was incredibly painful to lose him so young. Many fans never quite got over it. I wasn’t right for 6 months and then slowly began to accept it, but yea it hurt so bloody much.
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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 15:45:02 GMT
I'd hate for this to happen to me. Music has always been one of, if not the, overriding joys in my life. I feel for you and obviously hope you get over this. I do get you though. It's a bit of a blur now but I'm pretty sure I had a few weeks where I felt the same. I think it was something to do with not being allowed to enjoy myself (or some such armchair psychology bollocks). I also don't get certain posts on the forum when people say they haven't listened to songs like Who Is It for years even though it's their favourite song. Why? I know there's thousands of songs to listen to but my favourite tracks are in constant rotation for me. Thanks mate. I think more than anything it’s just been exhaustion. When you’re completely worn out it’s just hard to focus or even just enjoy things we take for granted. Who Is It for example…..😂
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Post by SmoothGangsta on Apr 30, 2022 16:01:08 GMT
I often find that I when I'm doing things I usually enjoy I'm not enjoying it all that much and am just doing it to pass time. Probably just due to where my head is and had been for while. This is sometimes the case with music as well. Not sure if that's how you're feeling but if it is I can relate.
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Post by butterflies2 on Apr 30, 2022 18:40:45 GMT
YES EVery one from the same eras as his were triggering me cause I was relating them back to his songs or thinking of him when hearing it. I was filled with love and it was bringing my whole inner being down. I couldn’t listen to mj for comfort and that hurt the most though I’m ok again I’ll never forget when MJ passed. It was a dagger through all our hearts. It was incredibly painful to lose him so young. Many fans never quite got over it. I wasn’t right for 6 months and then slowly began to accept it, but yea it hurt so bloody much. It took me a lot longer than that and some therapy. And sometimes I wanted to unlove him cause it hurt so much and fans couldn’t relate to my melancholy
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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 18:48:42 GMT
I often find that I when I'm doing things I usually enjoy I'm not enjoying it all that much and am just doing it to pass time. Probably just due to where my head is and had been for while. This is sometimes the case with music as well. Not sure if that's how you're feeling but if it is I can relate. Yes, very much so at times. A mechanical feeling of just going through the motions. I’m getting back to a feeling of enjoyment now but it’s been a feeling also of absolute boredom and sameness from stuff I used to adore and a feeling of listening to it because it’s ‘what I do!’ A feeling of emptiness and what’s the point of listening to it.
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Post by aazzaabb on Apr 30, 2022 18:55:09 GMT
I’ll never forget when MJ passed. It was a dagger through all our hearts. It was incredibly painful to lose him so young. Many fans never quite got over it. I wasn’t right for 6 months and then slowly began to accept it, but yea it hurt so bloody much. It took me a lot longer than that and some therapy. And sometimes I wanted to unlove him cause it hurt so much and fans couldn’t relate to my melancholy There was a fan on one of the other forums and every post he/she made it was related to how utterly distraught they were because MJ was no longer here, but I think they were probably doing themselves more harm than good by being on a forum everyday, but at the same time I suppose they had no one else to talk to about it. I hope you’re feeling somewhat better these days.
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Post by butterflies2 on Apr 30, 2022 21:41:48 GMT
It took me a lot longer than that and some therapy. And sometimes I wanted to unlove him cause it hurt so much and fans couldn’t relate to my melancholy There was a fan on one of the other forums and every post he/she made it was related to how utterly distraught they were because MJ was no longer here, but I think they were probably doing themselves more harm than good by being on a forum everyday, but at the same time I suppose they had no one else to talk to about it. I hope you’re feeling somewhat better these days. Doing better these days than back then, thanks for asking!
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Post by DirtyD on May 1, 2022 6:40:01 GMT
This happened to me around February last year. I got rejected by a nursing school I applied for and things were generally not good for me. Couldn’t digest anything musical, but when I gave myself about a month to miss it, I was craving music again. I read your next post and you seem to be going through a hell of a lot but, you will survive and you’ll come out on top of it. I advise you to give yourself some time to miss music and hopefully,it’ll work for you like it did for me. I sincerely pray you get through all you’re going through. Sending out a major love. Thank you so much dirtyd. It’s so nice that you’ve joined on here and more importantly that you’ve thrown yourself into the conversation and taken part. I always feel a little gutted when people say some of us are a clique as really all one can do is just get stuck in and join the chat. I’m not saying you felt we were a clique by the way, just that it’s great you actually just got involved and got our -admittedly sometimes dry- sense of humour. Yes, I applied for 2 positions myself in the past few months with the NHS and didn’t get the gig, and would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit gutted. So I empathise with you there. Everything happens for a reason I guess and we’re destined for greater things pal. This is our planet! Well, you can congratulate me because I got in this year😁. I'll admit, it did feel kind of cliquey when I first joined but, I realized that it's just human nature to relate better with those you've known for longer. I got over it with Matty's help. You guys are absolutely brilliant and your (sense of) humor is nothing compared to what we have over here so it's all good. I'm glad you were able to overcome the music thing even though you're not quite there yet. You'll be okay.
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Post by MattyJam on May 2, 2022 15:52:09 GMT
I often find that I when I'm doing things I usually enjoy I'm not enjoying it all that much and am just doing it to pass time. Probably just due to where my head is and had been for while. This is sometimes the case with music as well. Not sure if that's how you're feeling but if it is I can relate. Yes, very much so at times. A mechanical feeling of just going through the motions. I’m getting back to a feeling of enjoyment now but it’s been a feeling also of absolute boredom and sameness from stuff I used to adore and a feeling of listening to it because it’s ‘what I do!’ A feeling of emptiness and what’s the point of listening to it. Saw this meme and thought of this post: When you find yourself struggling to connect to the things that you're usually passionate about, it's life trying to tell you to slow down. There's no need to be working such crazy hours Aaron. What quality of life is that? Scale back your hours, take stock and ask yourself why it is you're really doing what you're doing and is it worth it? I'd rather struggle for money and prioritise having quality time to myself and with my loved ones than work myself to the point of exhaustion for... for what? Running a car to get to work? Affording nice things for the house when you're never at home? A day off work recovering from exhaustion is not really a day off. You sound to me like you urgently need a better work-life balance. We all have to make sacrifices, some sacrifice money for time and others trade in all their time for money. I've always been in the first category. I see others around me practically living to work and being miserable/exhausted in the process and I don't understand why they do it. I know they're motivated by the money, but for me, I'd rather have the time. Neither choice is ideal, but I just think my lifestyle choice is the lesser of two evils. It means I don't run a car and most of my spare money at the end of the month gets spent on the little one. It's a sacrifice and sometimes it's tough going without. But the alternative is selling the majority of my week to a workplace who don't care one jot about my wellbeing or mental health and I'm just not prepared to do that.
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Post by aazzaabb on May 16, 2022 20:25:19 GMT
Thank you so much dirtyd. It’s so nice that you’ve joined on here and more importantly that you’ve thrown yourself into the conversation and taken part. I always feel a little gutted when people say some of us are a clique as really all one can do is just get stuck in and join the chat. I’m not saying you felt we were a clique by the way, just that it’s great you actually just got involved and got our -admittedly sometimes dry- sense of humour. Yes, I applied for 2 positions myself in the past few months with the NHS and didn’t get the gig, and would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit gutted. So I empathise with you there. Everything happens for a reason I guess and we’re destined for greater things pal. This is our planet! Well, you can congratulate me because I got in this year😁. I'll admit, it did feel kind of cliquey when I first joined but, I realized that it's just human nature to relate better with those you've known for longer. I got over it with Matty's help. You guys are absolutely brilliant and your (sense of) humor is nothing compared to what we have over here so it's all good. I'm glad you were able to overcome the music thing even though you're not quite there yet. You'll be okay. Congrats on the job pal!! And great that you’ve settled in here. The more the merrier! Yes, I’m enjoying music again. I think a lot of it was just exhaustion from life so I’m calming down the pace and taking things with a pinch of salt and not too seriously anymore. Pretty much feeling that I’m back to my old self. Thanks you for the words of support too. 😎👍🏼
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Post by aazzaabb on May 16, 2022 20:46:02 GMT
Yes, very much so at times. A mechanical feeling of just going through the motions. I’m getting back to a feeling of enjoyment now but it’s been a feeling also of absolute boredom and sameness from stuff I used to adore and a feeling of listening to it because it’s ‘what I do!’ A feeling of emptiness and what’s the point of listening to it. Saw this meme and thought of this post: When you find yourself struggling to connect to the things that you're usually passionate about, it's life trying to tell you to slow down. There's no need to be working such crazy hours Aaron. What quality of life is that? Scale back your hours, take stock and ask yourself why it is you're really doing what you're doing and is it worth it? I'd rather struggle for money and prioritise having quality time to myself and with my loved ones than work myself to the point of exhaustion for... for what? Running a car to get to work? Affording nice things for the house when you're never at home? A day off work recovering from exhaustion is not really a day off. You sound to me like you urgently need a better work-life balance. We all have to make sacrifices, some sacrifice money for time and others trade in all their time for money. I've always been in the first category. I see others around me practically living to work and being miserable/exhausted in the process and I don't understand why they do it. I know they're motivated by the money, but for me, I'd rather have the time. Neither choice is ideal, but I just think my lifestyle choice is the lesser of two evils. It means I don't run a car and most of my spare money at the end of the month gets spent on the little one. It's a sacrifice and sometimes it's tough going without. But the alternative is selling the majority of my week to a workplace who don't care one jot about my wellbeing or mental health and I'm just not prepared to do that. Very wise words! Well, I packed in the job, the bank took the house and the wife left me! But hey…. I’ve that me time I wanted so badly! 😂 I kid mate.😉 Obviously. Can’t argue with your logic really. I am currently in the middle of a ten day run at work with 5 sleeps. I’m doing shifts in blocks of 2 days, so I’ll start in the morning at 9am and finish the following night for example. So 10 days feels like 5 really long days. I won’t be doing this type of stretch again and at the end of it I’m having a week off and going to Ireland which really does mark the end of the constant work. In one way the work has been great for my mental health and in another way it’s been absolutely terrible for it, aswell as absolutely exhausting. Thanks for the wise words and we really need to open this record store. 🙏🏻😎👍🏼
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Post by aazzaabb on May 16, 2022 20:47:43 GMT
There was a fan on one of the other forums and every post he/she made it was related to how utterly distraught they were because MJ was no longer here, but I think they were probably doing themselves more harm than good by being on a forum everyday, but at the same time I suppose they had no one else to talk to about it. I hope you’re feeling somewhat better these days. Doing better these days than back then, thanks for asking! Great to hear 🌞
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Post by MattyJam on May 17, 2022 7:13:43 GMT
Saw this meme and thought of this post: When you find yourself struggling to connect to the things that you're usually passionate about, it's life trying to tell you to slow down. There's no need to be working such crazy hours Aaron. What quality of life is that? Scale back your hours, take stock and ask yourself why it is you're really doing what you're doing and is it worth it? I'd rather struggle for money and prioritise having quality time to myself and with my loved ones than work myself to the point of exhaustion for... for what? Running a car to get to work? Affording nice things for the house when you're never at home? A day off work recovering from exhaustion is not really a day off. You sound to me like you urgently need a better work-life balance. We all have to make sacrifices, some sacrifice money for time and others trade in all their time for money. I've always been in the first category. I see others around me practically living to work and being miserable/exhausted in the process and I don't understand why they do it. I know they're motivated by the money, but for me, I'd rather have the time. Neither choice is ideal, but I just think my lifestyle choice is the lesser of two evils. It means I don't run a car and most of my spare money at the end of the month gets spent on the little one. It's a sacrifice and sometimes it's tough going without. But the alternative is selling the majority of my week to a workplace who don't care one jot about my wellbeing or mental health and I'm just not prepared to do that. Very wise words! Well, I packed in the job, the bank took the house and the wife left me! But hey…. I’ve that me time I wanted so badly! 😂 I kid mate.😉 Obviously. Can’t argue with your logic really. I am currently in the middle of a ten day run at work with 5 sleeps. I’m doing shifts in blocks of 2 days, so I’ll start in the morning at 9am and finish the following night for example. So 10 days feels like 5 really long days. I won’t be doing this type of stretch again and at the end of it I’m having a week off and going to Ireland which really does mark the end of the constant work. In one way the work has been great for my mental health and in another way it’s been absolutely terrible for it, aswell as absolutely exhausting. Thanks for the wise words and we really need to open this record store. 🙏🏻😎👍🏼 Sorry man, I didn't mean to come off as condescending. Just wanted to put it out there that perhaps you don't NEED to work all those crazy, long hours. I have a mortgage too! I feel the pressure to pay the bills as much as anyone. But I've always valued a healthy work-life balance over anything else. That's all I was saying. Give a damn about yourself brother, cuz no-one else is going to do that for ya!
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