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Post by Russg on Jan 21, 2023 12:21:46 GMT
Me and my brother got into a massive fight yesterday and I've been feeling a bit down about it. He's always been very condescending to me, not helped by the fact that he was the golden child (straight, athletic, popular) and I was always seen as the family fuck up (gay/trans, bullied, mental health problems). Yesterday I was moaning about my new apartment, which is a hole with a landlord from hell, and he replies with "well, you could've had everything I have, if you'd just applied yourself and was prepared to work for it." He said it with a completely straight face, completely unaware of how condescending that is. When I told him maybe I don't want his life, he replied by saying that he thought I was jealous/resentful of his success.
It really irked me, because he's completely clueless as to how different we had it growing up. He is literally the walking definition of straight white privilege. Despite the difference in our upbringings, I have never held this against him (my parents, yes, but it's not his fault he was born straight anymore than my fault I was born gay). It just hurts to be accused of jealousy when I am anything but.
There's only one person in life who I burn a deep-seated hatred for born out of envy and thats Madonna (because it should've been MJ still touring and releasing albums, not that old piece of gristle).
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Post by MattyJam on Jan 21, 2023 12:46:56 GMT
Sibling relationships can be complicated. Both my brother and sister are high-achievers, in the top bracket of wage earners and I'm nothing like them. My sister is a lawyer and my brother a managerial pharmacist and I work in a minimum wage job, live in a small house and don't drive a car. I've been compared to them my entire adult life by my parents, but I'm happy with who I am. I have my own family who I adore and my passions that excite me and have never felt the need to make life decisions based on other peoples expectations for me.
So I get it, why you find your brothers comments frustrating. And yes, he does sound VERY condescending.
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Post by aazzaabb on Jan 21, 2023 13:57:01 GMT
Me and my brother got into a massive fight yesterday and I've been feeling a bit down about it. He's always been very condescending to me, not helped by the fact that he was the golden child (straight, athletic, popular) and I was always seen as the family fuck up (gay/trans, bullied, mental health problems). Yesterday I was moaning about my new apartment, which is a hole with a landlord from hell, and he replies with " well, you could've had everything I have, if you'd just applied yourself and was prepared to work for it." He said it with a completely straight face, completely unaware of how condescending that is. When I told him maybe I don't want his life, he replied by saying that he thought I was jealous/resentful of his success. It really irked me, because he's completely clueless as to how different we had it growing up. He is literally the walking definition of straight white privilege. Despite the difference in our upbringings, I have never held this against him (my parents, yes, but it's not his fault he was born straight anymore than my fault I was born gay). It just hurts to be accused of jealousy when I am anything but. There's only one person in life who I burn a deep-seated hatred for born out of envy and thats Madonna (because it should've been MJ still touring and releasing albums, not that old piece of gristle). What an absolute insensitive dick! He probably resents you for having the guts to be true to yourself. Let him go back to his vanilla lifestyle and believe people actually give a shit about how well he’s doing. News flash, nobody cares!! And you’re way more interesting.
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Post by butterflies2 on Jan 21, 2023 20:31:59 GMT
Sorry to hear that you had that experience. He sounds full of himself
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Post by Russg on Jan 22, 2023 8:39:05 GMT
Me and my brother got into a massive fight yesterday and I've been feeling a bit down about it. He's always been very condescending to me, not helped by the fact that he was the golden child (straight, athletic, popular) and I was always seen as the family fuck up (gay/trans, bullied, mental health problems). Yesterday I was moaning about my new apartment, which is a hole with a landlord from hell, and he replies with " well, you could've had everything I have, if you'd just applied yourself and was prepared to work for it." He said it with a completely straight face, completely unaware of how condescending that is. When I told him maybe I don't want his life, he replied by saying that he thought I was jealous/resentful of his success. It really irked me, because he's completely clueless as to how different we had it growing up. He is literally the walking definition of straight white privilege. Despite the difference in our upbringings, I have never held this against him (my parents, yes, but it's not his fault he was born straight anymore than my fault I was born gay). It just hurts to be accused of jealousy when I am anything but. There's only one person in life who I burn a deep-seated hatred for born out of envy and thats Madonna (because it should've been MJ still touring and releasing albums, not that old piece of gristle). What an absolute insensitive dick! He probably resents you for having the guts to be true to yourself. Let him go back to his vanilla lifestyle and believe people actually give a shit about how well he’s doing. News flash, nobody cares!! And you’re way more interesting. Thanks aazzaabb!! In truth, I wouldn't trade my life for his, in spite of the struggles I've had over the years. That's why it's so funny he thinks I'm jealous/resentful of his life. We zoomed yesterday to try and clear the air. I tried explaining to him how it came across from my end and he actually apologized (which really surprised me). So we're cool now, at least on the surface, where it counts.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2023 15:08:33 GMT
No to the extent that you've experienced above, but your brother was a massive prick for saying that - regardless of it being true or not.
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Post by butterflies2 on Jan 22, 2023 22:43:17 GMT
I don’t get jealous of people, but whenever I saw other people following a dream similar to mine, I felt like a part of me died inside till I did something about it and followed my heart
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Post by aazzaabb on Jan 24, 2023 16:43:25 GMT
What an absolute insensitive dick! He probably resents you for having the guts to be true to yourself. Let him go back to his vanilla lifestyle and believe people actually give a shit about how well he’s doing. News flash, nobody cares!! And you’re way more interesting. Thanks aazzaabb!! In truth, I wouldn't trade my life for his, in spite of the struggles I've had over the years. That's why it's so funny he thinks I'm jealous/resentful of his life. We zoomed yesterday to try and clear the air. I tried explaining to him how it came across from my end and he actually apologized (which really surprised me). So we're cool now, at least on the surface, where it counts. Family can be so complicated. We’ve all been there. On the surface, until there’s a family get together and things go south! 😆
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